talking about (my motivation)

don't ask what the world needs.
ask what makes you come alive, and go do it.
because what the world needs is people who have come alive.
(howard thurman)

today i had a conversation with a dear friend on the topic of motivation. it sparked a lot of thought in this little brain... stuff that i've been mulling over for a while now.

as a result, here comes a post chock-full of honest thoughts. :)

did you know that i never wanted to do photography as a business? it was just a hobby, something i LOVED, and i was actually really opposed to doing this for others. in general, i hate being the center of attention and i hated the pressure of doing something i loved a) on demand and b) with someone else's expectations involved. it wasn't until all other doors slammed in my face, plans crumbled, and i had very few other options that i listened to solid advice from a few amazing people. i was finally open to the idea of not being selfish with what i'd been given. and... wham. the doors pretty much swung wide open. more opportunities than i ever could've come up with for myself. this began a little over two years ago.



lately a few people have asked me how to do what i do. my answer to that is this: there is no formula. i didn't have to "make" this happen. with almost everything in life, we all have a unique story. i really believe that the best way to live often involves following your heart. sounds a bit cheesy, yeah- but what i mean by that is that you shouldn't try to follow anyone else's vision or copy what you think looks like a recipe for success. think about it- deep down, what makes you come alive? what motivates you? figure out who YOU are and who YOU were created to be... and go be it. you are different than i am and i am different than you. it took me a lot of tries before i found this and i'm not even positive i'll continue do this as my job forever. i can't predict what life will bring! if at some point the work dries up i'm sure God will provide another way for me to pay my bills. guess what- i'm totally okay with that. i will take photos if someone pays me and i will take photos if nobody pays me. i'm not anxious about the future of my business and i'm definitely not in competition with or against other photographers. :) that's silly. this is simply what i love to do.

now, i have a confession. parts of this year, i haven't really loved this like i used to. 2010 has been one of the craziest, most disappointing/challenging years i've ever had. while good things have been coming from the struggle- to do something (like photography) that's so related to my heart has been TOUGH. it's hard to put into words, but what i shoot (in large part) comes from what i feel. so when i am wrestling, and life is hard, to try drum up my best work in spite of that- oy. it's been a huge struggle to continue to enjoy what i do. i've been telling myself this lack of love has been because i'm so busy, but i've come to the realization over the past few weeks that it has nothing to do with busy. i can handle busy. :) sure, i've learned how to function inside this valley, but it's been a frustrating process.



however, you know what else i've been thinking about in the past few weeks? no matter what's been going on in my life, it is, has been, and continues to be such a good thing to be a part of your lives. i love spending time with you. i love witnessing your weddings and seeing all the beauty, detail, and emotion that goes into that day. i love laughing with your kids, playing peek-a-boo with your babies, and i enjoy the wonder found in seeing the world through their eyes. i love hearing about your relationships, your lives, and your families. it brings me joy to know you and to have a small window into your world.

i feel privileged to have the opportunity to get to know you and capture some of your life.
so, thanks. you are amazing, every one of you.
as for me and my life? i have a lot of faith that better and different is right around the bend. in the meantime, i am thankful for the growth and the blessings in the midst of it all.

the best is yet to be.

from the east.

this trip to new york has been good for the soul.

friends, family, beautiful leaves, pumpkins and pumpkin-related desserts, mostly sunny days.
very refreshing.

it's fall. so that means that i am getting excited for christmas. yes i know that's ridiculous. no i do not care. :)

tons of photos to share... coming soon.

josh + kelsi (wedding)

this past weekend i shot a very, very lovely wedding.

first of all... it was the perfect sort of day. beautiful. sunny. fall-ish. happy.
secondly... this couple is LEGIT. they have known each other a long time. and they really, really know what it is to love.
also... visually, their style is right up my alley. i don't know that i personally could pull it off like they did, but i sure as heck liked it. :)

here's a quick shot of three crazies before we get on to the stars of the show- i'm the goofy duckface in the middle. :) the blonde is my friend lisa who helped me shoot and got some GREAT photos (i'll feature one here in this blog) and the brunette is my friend crystal who is my connection to the bride and groom- she was also a bridesmaid. (thanks for the recommendation, girl!)



haha. we sure are ::ahem:: special. MOVING ON. :) kelsi and josh. i love love love catching the look on a groom's face whenever he sees his bride for the first time. here is their moment:





um, delightful.
the rest of the post i'll just fill with the story of their day in pictures... enjoy.













(thanks lisa, for the beautiful shot above!)































beautiful day, beautiful love. josh and kelsi- congratulations. :)

nobody does it better.

this post is for the moms.



i spend a lot of this season of my life watching other people live theirs. haha, sounds weird when i phrase it like that, doesn't it? not that i don't have my own life... i do. filled with so many wonderful people and adventures and things to be thankful for. but at this exact moment, i do not have a spouse or kids or a lot of commitments and responsibilities outside of myself and my job. and most of my job is to chronicle other people's lives. it's a great learning opportunity, and i am soaking it all up.

i've been thinking lately about being a mom and what that might be like. personally, i can't wait. but i see that it is a HARD job. you grow these small people who are completely dependent for every need, and then in a flash... they are off and running (literally). your job, almost overnight, becomes less of a sedentary one and instead fills a role resembling jack-of-all-trades circus master. you comfort, you instruct and guide. you corral, you set free. you fix everything and other times teach them how to do it themselves. you find solutions to hunger when all that can be found are a few crackers at the bottom of a purse and help with pesky older siblings that won't stop with their incessant teasing. you kiss and make life better when needed.

dads are very important. VERY, very. i do not mean to minimize their role in a child's life... it's huge. but there's something lately i've been realizing about moms and i can't quite verbalize what i'm going for here, except to say there's nothing quite like a good mom who sincerely loves her kids. and when i say "love" i don't ONLY mean the feel-good, mushy kind of love- i also mean the "i'm doing this because it's best for you" kind of love. i feel like that kind of full-circle love and guidance helps kids get the confidence they need to start figuring out who they were made to be. these little people who are bits and pieces of their parents but also extremely unique in and of themselves and resembling small blank pages with futures and potential largely untapped and unknown.

all this to say, as someone who may very well be a mom at some point in the future: watching you inspires me. so, thanks. keep doing what you do. and lest you feel as though it's a tough and somewhat crazy job at times- know that you're doing good work. it matters a whole lot... so keep it up. :)

hello from the coast!

i just love the ocean.

any body of water, really. lake pond river ocean stream. doesn't matter. but ocean is my favorite (shh, don't tell the others).

something about the smell, the sights, the sounds- it's absolutely mesmerizing. i get to the beach and feel like the weight of the world has been lifted off my shoulders. i can breathe better, think better. everything IS better. i could live here and die here and be amazingly content. or... i could just come visit as often as i can and be great with that, too. :)

here are a few snaps from the camera, of what my friend colette and i saw on a perfect fall night. all photos by me except the shot OF me, which is by colette. uh- i now tend to make crazy faces in front of the camera. unintentionally. this one's tame, relatively speaking... oh dear. :) :)




(photo by colette port)









headed to sleep now, listening to the sounds of the surf right outside. perfection. :) g'nite.

(part of) joelle + stephen (wedding)

good evening!

tonight is a comfort food sort of night. i must confess, i came home after a semi-long day about an hour ago and ate a random/odd assortment of pita chips (had to finish up the bag), tater tots (any form of potato=the BEST!), and a package of cherry pop tarts. now... would this be my top pick for comfort food? no. however, i've been out of town for nearly two weeks. the pickings are slim. :) i predict a trip to the grocery store is most definitely in my future.

i am exhausted. and when i'm overtired, i tend to feel hungrier than normal. hah. :) yesterday was a long day of travel after a fabulous week and a half in new york which included several weddings, time with family and friends, and a few family photoshoots with kids that could strongly compete for the title of the cutest small human beings ever to live and breathe. :) while i was sitting here eating nonsense, i thought to myself- HEY! why not share a few images on the ol' blog? so, without further ado, here are a few photos from the getting ready process for the beautiful wedding of stephen and joelle.

















have a happy beginning to your week! i'll be back with more to share, soon.

they have my heart.

people are fun to photograph.

around this time of year, i don't have a lot of time to really appreciate what i do. right now as i type i'm (again) in another airport, waiting for another cross-country flight to take me to another three weddings and a handful of families. i barely have time to fit in a little bit of a life, nevermind taking a minute to reflect on what i love about this job. but people are great. people are my favorite- to spend time with, to work alongside, to try and understand.

even though ALL of my clients are amazing, there's just something about the kids- they are incredible treasures. here are a few random shots from just a sampling of the families i saw and worked with during my last trip to the east coast, which is where i'm headed again right now. enjoy, because these are some wonderfully beautiful and handsome little people. :) the whole world is before them to learn and explore and the possibilities are endless. so much yet to be discovered. i love every minute i spend with these guys and am thankful to have the privilege of capturing some of their grand adventure.